Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
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Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
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You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
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