STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
