If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i love accidental penises.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
