my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
This is not my ceiling
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
