did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
