it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
