i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
