Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
