She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
