I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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