Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
