so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
