Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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