with your own penis?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
