I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
