it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
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Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
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I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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