You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
