i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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