You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize