I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
