i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
