I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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