Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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