I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I see more hoeing in ur future
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