If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
