so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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