suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
soo... how was my night?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize