we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
