Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
me + whiskey = a bad person
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
