haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
