Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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