dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
