my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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