I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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