I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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