two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You're a waste of cheezeits
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
