i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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