Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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