By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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