Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Randomize
