She said her name was "party"
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
