i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
