So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
