I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
...so i touched it.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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