Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
