dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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