Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
high people should be assigned attendants
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
