Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
