Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
