My hand turned me down
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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