Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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