he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
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