where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize